Last Friday I had the opportunity to facilitate one of my favorite days of the year, our 3rd annual Leadership is You, student leadership conference. As one of the founders and chair of the conference, it has been remarkable to see it grow over the past three years. I am always taken back by the amount of energy these 120 plus students have at the end of a six-hour day that covers a vast spectrum of leadership content.

    As with any large event, frustrations and miscommunications occur that some times leave you wondering if the stress is worth the struggle. It all too often becomes about your own feelings and I have, at times, forgotten how important it is to take a step back and realize that this event is not about me. It is not about my frustration in navigating the political buoys and stroking staff egos. This event is about the students. This event is about promoting, for a relatively short period of time, the opportunity for students to push the boundary of their comfort zone.

    This morning, I received the below message as an email forward from a student that has and continues to overcome obstacles on a daily basis simply to remain a college student.

“I went to the leadership conference today with L****. I really, really didn't have the time to go, but something inside me just pushed me to go. The day was incredible! Both L**** and I are speechless as to how inspiring the speakers were. The speakers were so uplifting and encouraging. I really, really needed that. I am so glad that you told me about it. I would highly recommend that conference to any student in the future. They had us really thinking deeply about our lives and where we are going and how to get there. I think I learned more form the two speakers that I saw in one day than I have learned in my whole life from anyone. Thank you so much for encouraging me to go. It really, really was life changing -- at a time when I really need it most.”

(Note: I am not the professional staff member that encouraged this student to attend the conference, but I am so glad that the staff member did.)

    This is why I do what I do. As much as this student needed to be at our conference on Friday, I needed to receive this note. I needed the reminder that it is not about me. It is about her. That what I can do every day, no matter how large or small, has the ability to create an impact for that individual that I may not have the immediate perspective to recognize. It brings me joy knowing that an event that I could help facilitate will be an unforgettable moment for this student.

    Actively seek perspective. What may seem insignificant to you could be a dramatic and impactful moment for that individual.

It’s that wonderful time of year where we get to turn a page and see a blank book in front of us. We can accomplish anything what we want, say goodbye to the past, and every one is forward thinking with an eye to the future.

It’s also the time of year where folks set resolutions, trying to make the most of this New Year we are about to embark on. With over one-third of United States adults being obese, it is no surprise that weight-loss and fitness top the typical lists of resolutions. Since most resolutions fizzle away by the middle of February, perhaps there are some ways we can try and set ourselves up to succeed in 2013.

Don’t Focus on Weight Loss

So you want to lose weight, awesome! I believe that folks will see a significant improvement in their life by shedding a few pounds. People consistently talk about having more energy, sleeping better and generally being a more pleasant person to be around. Losing weight is a laudable accomplishment that takes commitment and dedication, but I do not believe that it is the most optimal resolution that you can set for yourself.

The fact is that your scale will lie to you. What most people mean when they say they want to lose weight is that they want to change the composition of their bodies. They want to lose fat and gain muscle. I see countless examples of individuals who are incredibly thin and therefore, do not weigh very much, but they also don’t look healthy.

Rather than focus on weight loss, focus on performance. Find an activity that you naturally love doing (swimming, running, biking, lifting weights, dancing…whatever!) and make time to just do it! Find a marathon, triathlon, weight lifting competition, 5k…something that is in the next 3-6 months and train for it. Focus on your training and the fitness and weight loss will take care of itself. It’s much more satisfying crossing the finish line of something you had to put in hard work and discipline for than simply staring at numbers on a scale.

Don’t be insane: Try something that scares you

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Still have that gym membership that is 6 months old? I doubt that you are going to make that a routine if you have failed countless times before. I also doubt you are going to accomplish your fitness goals if your routine involves messing around on the elliptical for 30 minutes and then jumping in the hot tub and sauna (my old routine).

Try something new. And better yet, try something that scares you. For me, that was finding CrossFit. I still remember just about a year ago walking through the door of Lynnwood CrossFit and being terrified. I had no idea the impact that it would have on my life from being a part of this amazing community. Step outside your comfort zone. Find a group class or something that you’ve always wanted to try and just try it. Being around a group of like-minded individuals is empowering and will help you accomplish your goals.

Visualize accomplishing your goal

When we try something new, often times we are our biggest critics. We have that little voice inside your head that tells you that you can’t do it. That’s okay. That voice will go away. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing who you want to be. What do you want to look like or what will it feel like once you accomplish your goal? Focus on where you’re trying to go and embrace where you are right now. You’ll find that fitness and weight loss is more mentally challenging than physically challenging. Getting off of the couch is the hardest movement. Learn to love yourself and take pride in your accomplishments and successes.

Immerse yourself in the community

Read blogs. Watch documentaries. Find people on social media. Read books. Make new friends. Get involved within the community and you dramatically increase your odds of succeeding. You will want to quit and you will go through ups and downs. Having like-minded individuals that know what you go through will make the ups even better and will be a buffer for the downs. The more involved you are in your goal, the more likely it will stop being a “goal” and simply become a part of your life.

Food is not a reward

I used to fall into the trap when I would stick with my fitness plan and nutrition for a period of time, I would reward myself with a cheat meal (or day) that always seemed to include chocolate peanut butter ice cream. I realized that this type of "reward" that I was limiting from my diet made me feel deprived and took my focus off of what my ultimate goal was.

Don’t use food as a reward. Yes, schedule in cheat meals and days when you can have a treat, but only when they are planned. Instead of food, think about activities or ways that can help support you in your journey. Do you love biking? Perhaps once you reach a milestone you reward yourself with a new bike, or riding shorts or jersey. Love to run? New running shoes could be on your horizon. Fit into a certain size of pants now? Time to get a new pair of jeans and throw away the old ones. These rewards take the focus off of what you “can’t have” and put the focus on what you’re working towards.

It’s a slight, but significant paradigm shift that you will experience when your mindset changes from “I can’t eat this,” to “I can eat this, but I’m choosing not to.”

Don’t Give Up

Write down all the reasons why you want to do whatever it is you are set out to do. Keep this list accessible and read it every time you are thinking about giving up. Add to it as you begin your journey and as your perspective changes. We all have our reasons to improve fitness. Don’t lose sight of why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Best of luck to you in 2013!